Worms Armageddon:
For Lulz and Glory!

Jun 12, 2015
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Worms Armageddon has something of a cult following, and it’s not hard to see why. All of the usual qualities are there: it’s fun, quirky, a bit silly (okay, more than a bit silly), and occupies a niche all its own. I’d heard the title before, but I’d never actually played until a couple of weeks ago. A friend of mine has it on his computer and so, on a night filled with pizza, alcohol, and boredom, he talked me into giving it a try.

The Worms series is an old one, and it's sort of a blast from a previous era of gaming. It's a physics-based war game, the kind you saw on computers in the '80's and 90's, like Bang Bang . In addition to LAN or online play through Steam, multiplayer can be played hotseat, as you and your friends crowd around one computer, taking turns trying to win. All of this might seem a bit backwards and old fashioned now, but then you realize there's a very good reason why Worms Armageddon has lasted all this time as a favorite: it's just so damn fun.

Like I said earlier, a huge part of this game’s appeal is the sheer silliness of it. For starters, you’re controlling a squad of militant earthworms. There’s an impressive amount of customization available for the teams, especially considering that Worms Armageddon was released in 1999. You can pick from a wide variety of personalities and victory themes, and name each worm individually as well as naming your squad. I opted for an over-the-top militaristic personality and a sarcastic trumpet fanfare. I then proceeded to carefully craft Team Badass, led by the indomitable Cmdr Badass, with a team of hotshot worms that had names like Lt. Jackass and... well, you get the picture.

I think the most fun part of the game was just experimenting with all of the different weapons. You’ve got straightforward things like shotguns, uzis, and grenades. You’ve got more exotic weaponry like mortars, homing missiles, mines, and cluster bombs. You even have a small array of martial arts skills available, including an uppercut that knocks enemies upward, a punch that sends them flying backward, and a poke that makes them jump back about an inch.

That poke, by the way, is the single funniest and most insulting way to kill someone.

Then you’ve got your super-weapons. You can choose from a flamethrower, an exploding cow, a flying sheep, a holy hand grenade, and an old woman, to name a few. No, I did not make any of those up. You pick one super-weapon for your team, and you’ll get access to it once a certain number of rounds have passed. One thing almost all of these have in common: they'll detonate and destroy the terrain in huge, hilarious, disastrous ways. Part of the fun of this game is watching the level itself be completely demolished, forcing you and your opponent to keep finding higher ground.

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Many teams enter. One team leaves. Fight and die for the honor and glory of your squad.

Let me tell you, trying to learn the mechanics of Worms Armageddon while in a vodka-induced haze is not easy. Getting rockets and grenades to go where you want them to is difficult enough while sober, and that’s not even getting into the movement tricks. J et-packs , teleporters, and grappling hooks are important when the land under you starts being demolished.

One of the primary methods of movement for these little worms is the Ninja Rope, a grappling hook of sorts that lets you swing yourself from one place to another. If you get really good at it, you can fling your worms in all kinds of crazy directions and wind up in places that you have no business being. If it’s your first time playing, you’ll probably just throw yourself off the edge of the level.

In short, I did more damage to myself than my opponent did to me for the first few games. One moment that I distinctly remember was shooting an enemy worm with a longbow, only to have the worm bounce off the wall behind it and slide into mine, pushing him off the stage. I loved every minute of it.

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What doesn't kill me... should run.

There’s really not a whole lot more to say about Worms Armageddon , which is fine, because I don’t think anything more needs to be said. The mechanics, though they take some getting used to, are solid. The game itself is absurd and awesome. There’s enough variety in the weaponry to keep things interesting, and the rounds are short enough that it never feels like it’s dragging. If you’re looking for a quick time waster and a good mix of laughs and facepalms, this is the game for you.

Dis-missed!

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Eric Henn

Head Writer